I went to the opening night of Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, and the opening scene is the most brilliant, hilarious thing of the year. Download the track and sing along!
Mastodon - Cut You With A Linoleum Knife
Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!
You came here. WATCH IT.
Don't like it? WALK OUT.
We still have all your fucking money!
Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm sitting there!
I am everywhere at once
and I will cut you up.
If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife.
Do not explain the plot.
If you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Your money is our money
and we will spend it on drugs.
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be considerate to others,
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.
Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside.
Leave it in the streets.
Run over it after the show.
If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid
and dissolve your testicles
and turn your guts into snakes.
This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner.
If I find that you've sold it on eBay,
I will break into your house
and tear your wife in half.
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