Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Lazy Drinkers

Six teenagers have shown up in two San Fernando Valley emergency rooms in the last few months with alcohol poisoning after drinking hand sanitizer.  Fuck, kids are stupid.

Public health officials are worried this is the start of a dangerous trend, though I see it as a great way for Darwinism to take effect. Some of the teenagers used salt to separate the alcohol from the sanitizer to convert it into a potent drink similar to a shot of hard liquor. But I wonder how they can figure out how to distill their hand-wipe moonshine but not actually get their hands on actual liquor.

Liquid hand sanitizer is typically 62% ethyl alcohol and is the equivalent of 120-proof liquid, and follows other over-the-counter items like mouthwash, cough syrup and vanilla extract that kids have tried to get wasted on.  Most people are too young to remember to foolish attempts to get high smoking banana peels or when modeling glue was good for a huffing, but I'm disappointed in the youth of today who have to come up with stupid ways to get loaded when there's medicine cabinets and wet bars a plenty at home.  I still look back fondly on Herr Docktor's parents who chained the liquor cabinet closed...and how he would undo and redo the links to get in...

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