C.I.A. - Clandestine Inappropriate Affairs

Even the most brilliantly accomplished men are still derailed by their dicks.

CIA Director David Petraeus resigned his post today, siting "extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair". The former four star Army general, credited with the successful Iraqi "surge" campaign, and eventual commander of American forces in Afghanistan fucked himself by fucking someone other than his wife. Said the intelligence chief who showed very little:

"Yesterday afternoon, I went to the White House and asked the President to be allowed, for personal reasons, to resign from my position as D/CIA. After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair. Such behavior is unacceptable, both as a husband and as the leader of an organization such as ours," he said. "This afternoon, the President graciously accepted my resignation."

Just a year into his CIA post, Petraeus is now going to have to ditch any hopes of a presidential campaign, which was looking favorable until this afternoon. As the story broke, the other woman turned out to be Paula Broadwell, who was embedded (puns ahoy) with him in Afghanistan as his biographer. Not a bad piece of ass when you're in a Middle Eastern hellhole and thousands of miles away from your wife (who by comparison looks like this), but still unacceptable. Broadwell turns out to be - for the time being - married, and a mother of two.

The story is still surfacing, but word is that the FBI was investigating a possibly hacked computer used by Petraeus, which in the course of that inquiry led federal investigators to discover the relationship. As the head spymaster, you've got to do a better job of burying your affairs! It is a shame to have a Felix Baumgartner-sized fall from grace for a little strange, but if you're going to do that kinda stuff, it's got to stay secret. You don't pay whores for the sex, you pay them to leave and keep their mouths shut.