Monday, August 16, 2010

Tech Signs

If you've wondered where those ubiquious symbols came from, Gizmodo has their background:

Firewire

Back in 1995, a group at Apple (the main developer of Firewire) was looking for a symbol to reflect the technology they were working on. Originally intended as serial port alternative to SCSI, the allure was high-speed connectivity for digital audio and video equipment - and designers opted for a symbol with three prongs to representing video, audio and data. Which is totally not clear when you look at it. The symbol appears as yellow, but was initially red.

Spinning Wait Cursor

Call it what you will (the hypnowheel of doom, the spinning pizza, the pinwheel of death, the spinning beach ball of death), Apple officially calls it the "spinning wait cursor". It is an evolution of the wristwatch "wait" cursor first used in early versions of the Mac OS, and was meant to represent the spinning magneto-optical disk from which NeXTstep OS and applications were (very slowly) loading from.

Ethernet

Despite being "invented" many years prior, the ethernet port symbol was actually designed by IBM's David Hill, and was part of a set of symbols that were all meant to depict the various local area network connections available at the time. The array of blocks are meant to represent computers/terminals.

Power

As far back back as WWII, engineers used the binary system to label individual power buttons, toggles and rotary switches - a 1 meant "on," and a 0 meant "off". By 1973, the International Electrotechnical Commission turned a broken circle with a line inside it as "standby power state". The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, however, decided that was too vague, and altered the definition to simply mean power. And the IEC and IEEE have been at odds ever since...but we have our symbol.

Command

While working to translate menu commands directly to the keyboard, Apple decided to add a special function key. When pressed in combination with other keys, the "Apple key" would select the corresponding menu command. Steve Jobs hated it because the symbol used to represent the button was yet another version picture of the Apple logo. During the redesign phase, somebody pulled out the international symbol dictionary and settled on one floral symbol that in Sweden, indicated a noteworthy attraction in a campground. It is alternately known as the Gorgon loop, the splat, the infinite loop, and, in the Unicode standard, a "place of interest sign".

Bluetooth

This goes all the way back to 10th Century Danish King, Harald Blåtand - who, if you believe it was renowned connoisseur of blueberries. Really. At least one of this teeth was permanently stained blue. And the Bluetooth symbol is actually a combination of the two runes that represent Harald's initials. Beyond that coincidence , the first Bluetooth receptor also had a "teeth-like" shape, and was, naturally, blue.

USB

The icon was drawn to resemble Neptune's Trident, the mighty Dreizack. Yeah, I wasn't aware that's what it was called - as far as I knew, the Mighty Dreizack was a senior at ZBT who almost flunked out twice. To differentiate it from the weapon and to make it more form fitting, the tips were changed to a triangle, square and circle, signifying the different peripherals that could be attached using the standard "universal" bus.

Play / Pause

Even though Play and Pause originated elsewhere, as media has made itself a firm fixture on computers, they're symbols that are so common they need to be included - though neither has a definitive origin. First appearing on reel-to-reel tape decks almost 50 years ago the direction of the play arrow simply indicated what direction the tape would move. Double triangles indicated rewind and fast forward, keeping with the symbol key. There's some debate over pause - some say it is notation for an open connection on an electrical schematic; other point out it's a stop symbol with a chunk carved out of its center. But in musical notation, the caesura indicates a pause.

Yacht Rock 12!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Chiseled

Buzzfeed chronicles the transfomation - 30 years of Mickey Rourke's face...and there's still years more to come.


The turning point looks like the mid-90's.

Infinite Coolness

Thursday, August 12, 2010

TV Fame, But Mostly Fortune

As networks get ready for the upcoming year, they're gambling on a crop of unproven shows to help boost their ratings and ad revenue. They can be the difference between a profitable year or failure, because returning and long standing shows have costs to match their star power and ratings appeal. Now the numbers are out for what the stars and personalities are taking in this year, and considering how shitty some of the shows are, I don't know how they can justify paying some of these salaries while shortchanging others.


The top earners, by category:

Drama (per episode)
Hugh Laurie (House) $400,000+
Christopher Meloni & Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU) $395,000 (each)
David Caruso (CSI: Miami) $375,000
Marg Helgenberger (CSI) $375,000
Mark Harmon (NCIS) $375,000
Laurence Fishburne (CSI) $350,000
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) $350,000
Denis Leary (Rescue Me) $350,000
Gary Sinise (CSI: NY ) $275,000
Patrick Dempsey (Grey's Anatomy) $250,000
David Boreanaz (Bones) $200,000
Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice) $200,000
Julianna Margulies (The Good Wife ) $175,000
Dana Delany (Body of Proof ) $150,000
Lauren Graham (Parenthood) $150,000
Jada Pinkett Smith (HawthoRNe) $150,000
Jimmy Smits (Outlaw) $150,000
LL Cool J (NCIS: Los Angeles) $125,000
Chris O'Donnell (NCIS: Los Angeles) $125,000
Mark Feuerstein (Royal Pains) $125,000
Jason Lee (Memphis Beat) $125,000
Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds) $125,000
Tom Selleck (Blue Bloods) $125,000
Michael Weatherly (NCIS) $125,000
Matt Bomer (White Collar) $100,000
Nathan Fillion (Castle) $100,000
Thomas Gibson (Criminal Minds) $100,000
Jon Hamm (Mad Men) $100,000
Cole Hauser (Chase) $100,000
Alex O'Loughlin (Hawaii Five-0) $100,000
Timothy Olyphant (Justified ) $100,000
Scott Caan (Hawaii Five-0) $80,000
Angie Harmon (Rizzoli & Isles) $75,000
Anna Paquin (True Blood) $75,000
Blair Underwood (The Event) $75,000
Zachary Levi (Chuck) $60,000
Ian Somerhalder (The Vampire Diaries) $40,000
Shailene Woodley (The Secret Life of the American Teenager) $40,000
Ashley Tisdale (Hellcats) $30,000

Mark Harmon, the guy from Summer School, makes more than John Hamm, Timothy Olyphant, and Nathan Fillion, but how does Jada Pinkett Smith? If Angie Harmon changed her first name she'd be raking in some dough. The best thing about this generally overpaid bunch is that House makes more than those other clone crime procedure shows.

Late Night/Talk Syndication (per year)
Oprah Winfrey $315 million
Judge Judy Sheindlin $45 million
David Letterman (The Late Show) $28 million
Jay Leno (The Tonight Show) $25 million
Conan O'Brien (The Conan O'Brien Show) $10 million
Ellen DeGeneres (The Ellen DeGeneres Show) $8 million
Jimmy Kimmel (Jimmy Kimmel Live) $6 million
Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately) $3.5 million
George Lopez (Lopez Tonight) $3.5 million

The "O" empire doesn't shock me at all, but Judge fucking Judy? How does somebody's cranky grandma get more than Letterman, Conan, and Kimmel combined? She may be funnier than Leno, but is the syndication that much higher than the ad revenue for those three shows? And there's 18 other judge shows on that are just fill-in-the-blanks for the ethnicity, age, and sex of the magistrate.

Reality (per year)
Ryan Seacrest (American Idol) $15 million
Joel McHale (The Soup) $2 million
Piers Morgan (America's Got Talent) $2 million
Kate Gosselin (Kate Plus 8) $250,000 per episode
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi (Jersey Shore) $30,000 per episode

I'd shove my chubby ass into a bikini and pull some skanks hair for $30K a show, and I'd still be far overpaid...but I sleep a little better knowing that McHale gets some big dollars for making fun of that fat troll. And Seacrest makes so many paydays for basically doing the same thing on radio and tv, I don't know why they don't create one contract where they just own him like a performing monkey. I've long complained that reality is anything but, given they have full writing staffs and casting sessions, but if it was truly reality, then they'd not get paid at all. Reality television at it's most real is just the internet - more specifically, YouTube.

Comedy (per episode)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men) $1.25 million
Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men) $550,000
Marcia Cross (Desperate Housewives) $400,000
Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) $400,000
Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives) $400,000
Eva Longoria Parker (Desperate Housewives) $400,000
Dan Castellaneta (The Simpsons) $400,000
Julie Kavner (The Simpsons) $400,000
Tina Fey (30 Rock) $350,000
Jeremy Piven (Entourage) $350,000
Steve Carell (The Office) $297,000
Angus T. Jones (Two and a Half Men) $250,000
David Duchovny (Californication) $200,000
Kevin Dillon (Entourage) $200,000
Adrian Grenier (Entourage) $200,000
Miranda Cosgrove (iCarly) $180,000
Edie Falco (Nurse Jackie) $175,000
William Shatner ($#*! My Dad Says) $150,000
David Spade (Rules of Engagement) $150,000
Ed O'Neill (Modern Family) $100,000
Patrick Warburton (Rules of Engagement) $85,000
Betty White (Hot in Cleveland) $75,000
Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) $60,000
Johnny Galecki (The Big Bang Theory) $60,000
Ty Burrell (Modern Family) $50,000
Jane Lynch (Glee) $50,000
Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory) $40,000
Matthew Morrison (Glee) $30,000
Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place) $30,000
Dylan and Cole Sprouse (The Suite Life of Zack and Cody) $20,000 (each)
Rico Rodriguez (Modern Family) $15,000

There's nothing funny about how much money the Two And A Half Men guys get - more than $2 mil per shitty, rotten episode. I'd be shocked if the entire budget for an episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia cost that much. I'm confused as to why Desparate Housewives is catagorized as a comedy, though it is a joke that those nasty harpies earn so much. And they may say it's not TV, it's HBO, but Jermey Piven should never earn as much as Tina Fey or more than Steve Carell for doing far less.

News (per year)
Matt Lauer (Today) $16 million +
Katie Couric (CBS) $15 million
Brian Williams (NBC) $12.5 million
Diane Sawyer (ABC) $12 million
Meredith Vieira (Today) $11 million
Bill O'Reilly (Fox News) $10 million
George Stephanopoulos (ABC) $8 million
Keith Olbermann (MSNBC) $7 million
Shepard Smith (Fox News) $7 million
Wolf Blitzer (CNN) $3 million
Christiane Amanpour (ABC) $2 million
Lawrence O'Donnell (MSNBC) $2 million
Eliot Spitzer (CNN) $500,000

The good news is you get paid a lot of money if you read the news. The bad news is the news is mostly bad news - like how much people get paid to read the news.

Expensivables

Some celebrity action math from WIRED on the eve of the debut of The Expendibles.

Their formula is:
Biggest Action-Movie Box Office
+ Weapon of Choice
÷ Relative Proximity to Serial C-List Actress Brigitte Nielsen
= Level of Unexpendability.








(click to enlarge or go here)

Heathen Child



Safe to watch at work? Should Nick Cave's "Grinderman" (side) project be?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

4Chan Under Oath

You may recall back in 2008, you may remember that David Kernell hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account and posted the passwords on the notorious 4Chan. So when prosecutors called on Christopher “Moot” Poole, administrator and founder of 4Chan, to testify regarding the site, it was going to be epic win time. Because greatness comes when the prosecutor asks things like:
Q: And is there any significance to “new fags”? or

Q: What about “b tard”? or

Q: And the term “rickroll” you said it tries to make people go to a site where they think it is going to be one thing, but it is a video of Rick Astley, is that right?
Business Insider was brilliant enough to post the entire 29-page transcript of his testimony.


Christopher "Moot" Poole Testimony in Palin Email Trial


Get On The Bus

WIRED raided Flickr commons - home to such diverse archives like the National Library of Scotland's "Photographs of the South Side of Edinburgh" and Fylkesarkivet's "Lantern Slides of Norwegian Fjords", has found another awesome photo set: the Metro Transportation Library and Archive. And specifically, the "Southern California Rapid Transit District (SCRTD) Operator of the Month."

Oldvengers


From the same cat that brought you a pre-version of The Empire Strikes Back.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Rimception

The NHLverending Story

The NHL has successfully - and surprisingly, defended its decision to reject the New Jersey Devils' 17-year, $102 million contract with free-agent winger Ilya Kovalchuk.

The NHLPA was widely believed to have the upper hand, and other franchises had previously exploited the loophole in the collective bargaining agreement to front-load contracts and bring down the total salary cap hit on long-term deals. Arbitrator Richard Bloch ruled against the NHLPA's grievance of the NHL voiding of the contract, which means Kovalchuk is free to sign with any team. My beloved Kings, who held extensive talks with Kovalchuk before he signed with the Devils, are reportedly still interested, as is SKA St. Petersburg of Russia's Kontinental Hockey League. The Devils can try to negotiate another contract with Kovalchuk that the NHL might approve, but that would probably involve a less favorable salary cap hit for the Devils or less money for Kovalchuk. Or prehaps both.

There's no question that the Devils were trying to get around the salary cap with this contract, which paid $95 million in the first 10 years and then spread out the rest until Kovalchuk would be a 44. Bloch wrote in his ruling that the Kovalchuk deal "is a retirement contract" and that it goes "well beyond the typical retirement age for NHL players." So did it close the loophole? Hardly. But it will send a chilling effect through the teams and players and agents that try to exploit it - which was the point to begin with.

Puck Daddy takes a look at a few of the myths that are floating around the situation, and what it means for future contracts.

Stolen!


Monday, August 9, 2010

Star Whores

Vivid Entertainment, who recently made the Batman XXX parody, are now reaching meta territory, planning on Star Wars parody porn (déjà Zack And Miri Make A Porno vu!)

There is no word when it will be completed or released, but they issued a press release that Lexington Steele is being cast as Darth Vader (or likely a more perverse pun-name), and let me just say that the force is strong, and huge, with this one. Google him and you'll find the destructive power of the dark side. Seeing as Vivid wants to spray cum all over the trilogy, I figured I 'd have fun with it and fill out the rest of their cast.

Lick Skyfucker

Our hero needs to be youthful and likable, and that's James Deen to me. His blog is pretty amusing (and NSFW as hell), but where else are you going to find accounts of what he's been eating, and sometimes who? The only thing he needs is a 70's bowl cut wig to look like Mark Hamill and I think we're all set there.


Princess Lay-Her

Let's not dis Carrie Fisher, the sharp tongued, saucy royalty that made millions of boys fantasies by the time she put her metal bikini on in Return, but are we looking for an actress to be sassy and bold? Nope! We need a smoking hot piece of girl-next-door ass, and that is Stoya. She's too pretty for porn, but it's a good thing she doesn't know it.


Hand Solo

All porn actors are roguish scoundrels, but some are just a little too sleazy. Instead of some tattooed scumbag, scrawny pervert, creepy old guy, or super-roided meathead, there needs to be a dashing outlaw who has both charisma and stamina. Erik Everhard, you go to the gym a decent amount and have sex with women on camera for money, so you fit the bill.


Screwbacca

When you think of a big, hairy fuck machine, can you not think of Ron Jeremy? Well, giant dick or not, I don't want to see The Porcupine getting nasty with such choice young actresses. So instead, we're just going to have to make it a female, and go with Dana DeArmond. Her 225+ film resume more than establishes her casting (with such titles as Juicy White Anal Booty 4 and Gangbang My Face 3 to her credit - though I don't know what Mistress Strap-On: Sado Bitch says)...


C3P-Hole

Even though the protocol droid was nicknamed "Goldenrod", my brain is just not wired to picture some blonde stud. But I'm all about the blonde thing for the role, so why not the buxom Kagney Lynn Karter, the AVN 2010 Best New Starlet? And just like in the original movies, people will be trying to shut her up. except in adult films, they have different ways of doing that...


R2DP

Just like in the series, the two robotic companions were opposites, so a petite, brunette Ashley Blue is a nice compliment. And she is a nasty little freak, so living up to her character won't be a problem at all. Droid on droid action? Not a problem She's done more _______ on _______ action that you'd have a hard time filling in a blank that she hasn't already.


Orgy-Wan Kenobi

He may not be a wise old sage, but Tom Byron has been around for years (look at that picture). The guy was barely old enough to shave but was in films with John Holmes and one of my favorites from the VHS days, White Bun Busters. Recently he's sexed up the young (King Of Coochie 1-5) and the old (Seasoned Players 1-12), and if he can pull off being an actor / director, then he can certainly mentor the younger performers, just like a Jedi.


Grand Muff Takin'

Another gender reversal, because we don't need a porn that too dude heavy. We're not interested in that kind of adult film. Kristina Rose would be working with Lexington Steele to make sure the Fuck Death Star was the ultimate weapon of ass destruction in the galaxy. And if she held her own in Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman, then she can be one of the Empire's top tramps.


Boba Fuck

Is it a stretch for everybody's favorite bounty hunter to be in there when his debut was in the second film? Not if you go back to the cut footage, which Lucas added effects to and inserted into the enhanced, re-release. So if it's okay to enhance things for the film, then I say we throw Boba in there along with Aletta Ocean and her, uh, enhancements.


Screwtroopers
They may all look the same in uniform, but a little variety once those come off makes the galactic empire worth fighting for, right? And if it really is an empire, then there needs to be a little more international flavor. Our minions are European porn stars! Sandra Romain, Katja Kassin, Jana Cova, Monica Sweetheart and Christina Bella.



You can add Rocco Siffredi as The Emperor if you please, but we'll save Yodong and the others for the inevitable sequel.