You Said A Mouthful

Bad news for the fellas who are good to reciprocate a little oral pleasure for their lady friends: the human papillomavirus (HPV) many women are prone adds an increased risk of a kind of oral cancer often seen in men. Great, first we can count on asshole cancer, now we get it in the mouth?

The New England Journal of Medicine showed that men and women who reported having six or more oral-sex partners during their lifetime had a nearly ninefold increased risk of developing cancer of the tonsils or at the base of the tongue.

(thinks hard, counts on fingers)

Shit!

Of the 300 study participants, those infected with HPV were also 32 times more likely to develop this type of oral cancer than those who did not have the virus. Of the 120 HPV strains isolated from humans (about 40 of which are in the mouth and genital tracts), only four are protected against by the recently approved vaccine, Gardasil: HPV-6 and HPV-11, which cause warts; and HPV-16 and HPV-18, which cause about 70% of cervical cancers.

In the study, HPV-16 was present in 72 of the 100 cancer patients and of the 12,000 - 15,000 new cases of oropharyngeal cancer diagnosed each year, about 25% die from it. One researcher said, "When you look at the cancers associated with HPV in men — including penile cancer, anal squamous cell carcinoma, oral cancers — it's very close to the number of cases of cervical cancer that occur in the U.S. in women every year. We need to adjust the public's perception that only women are at risk."

Ladies, get your vaccines (even though studies say it only 17% effective against cancer precursors overall)! I guess I'll be masturbating safely in the other room until the fear tapers off.

I Never Knew There Were So Many Different Kinds Of Child Molesters

VG-IF Weekend

As I told you last week, we've got something for you.

Velvet Glove - Iron Fist.

It's a brand new blog, and it's going to pistol whip your sensibilities. I'll let it's moderator and co-creator Don MF Greeb tell you more about it:

Velvet Glove - Iron Fist is something that I've been doing for quite a while for my own amusment...just finding pictures and putting captions on them. The concept is simple and the the rules are few. What you're accustomed to reading or seeing on IOvUF is tame compared to some of the things that will pop up on Velvet Glove - Iron Fist. It will be inappropriate, sexist, racist, shocking, provacative, tasteless, crass, unapologetic, bitter, and morally reprehesible. And those are it's finer qualities.

Perhaps that's too strong a warning, but there will certainly be off-color, midnight black humor. Plus foul language and nudity, as needed. It's not quite the website you're going to want to read at work in case somebody's watching, but you'll check it out the moment you get home and email your co-workers about it the next day. And that's the beauty of it. It's every day.

Since Famous M is tied up with two sites already, he'll be helping hatch ideas and taking a sidekick's role for the daily posts, so hate him just a touch more for endulging my sick side. But I'll be your guide daily to the the best and the worst in an unholy marriage of thoughts, words, and images. Think of it as the drunken sex you had with that questionable girl - you can tell everybody you were repulsed and ashamed, but deep down inside you'd do it again.

Well friends, there you have it...check out Velvet Glove - Iron Fist, our newest endevour, which will begins today, and continues tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and the next...

Coming In Seven Days

You'll see what I'm talking about. And then regret it.

Weekend Twating (Or Lack Thereof)

"Save this, I do not plan to twat any of you, for any reason, ever." - IOvUF

And there you have it - that would have been my first, last, and only foray into the bleeding edge favorite Twitter. Because what the fuck do I have to tell all of you that I can't put in an email, phone call, text message, or blogpost?

Now don't misunderstand - I have a hard-on for all the new technology that keeps developing and makes this planet smaller. But like anything powerful, in the wrong hands more damage is done than good. Let's establish some ground rules for this discussion, shall we? Let us accept that, because of new media (interweb, reality tv, and blogs), many folks who have no business having more than a dozen people know them are suddenly, inexplicably...important. As well, add the over saturation of self-importance that's become the de rigueur pop-psychology cum culture. And top it all off with an unhealthy dose of voyeurism. Now, let us begin.

Much like the top Google searches, a list of contemptuous suspects appears...Tila Tequila, Perez Hilton, Octo-mom. All the frontline of people who wield far too much interest and influence on the public imagination. In another era, all they'd be is a diseased, talentless whore, a catty queer, and the village lunatic who who neighbors rarely ever saw. Sadly, that's who and what you're predominantly stuck with for your Twittering, and there's three of them for every guy who figured out how to rig his chair to twat every time he lets one rip. The newest / fastest /biggest direct-contact technology is being overrun with the least important people who feel the need to use it.

Look at Assy Pig Tank, who had the following interesting worthless information to pass along - presented by WWTDD within the appropriate context:

Holy Crap! Is Mexico a mile from the fucking sun because Kim Kardashian fell asleep on the beach there and this was the result. She said on Twitter:

PLEASE HELP ME! I am so sunburned! I fell asleep with huge glasses on yesterday! This tan line is not ok!!!

I know this sucks for her but quite frankly she was asleep on a beach in Mexico on a Thursday in mid-April, taking a vacation from god knows what, so really she should kiss my ass. If she wants sympathy she’s gonna need to try harder than, “I got a sunburn because I was too relaxed at my tropical paradise.” Next time I hope the chupacabra finds her, rolls her over and humps her.

Fuck yeah! But really, I'll tell you who ought to be worry about this: publicists.

Celebrities - real, pseudo and otherwise, who want to "connect" with their fans are flocking to it in droves. And by "connect", that's really "share unimportant babble with the largest group of people possible". The egomaniacal celebrity archetype gets all kinds of excited having subscribers - or the truly more accurate term used, followers - to their twatbursts, because they can absolutely qualify their importance in quantifiable numbers that way. Forget bragging rights for number building Myspace friends...having a Twitter figure is the penis size for the literal cult of personality. More importantly, it allows every already dumb celeb to show exactly how goddamn stupid they are 140 characters at a time. With any luck, all the work publicists would have had making statements and contacting the public on behalf of their clients may still be retained in damage control and spin covering ever ill-advised and un-thought out comment. Maybe they'll twat the retractions and apologies...how meta!

Just this very morning, Ashton Kutcher became the king of Twitter, which is pretty much the next accomplishment you try after you've bagged Demi Moore. Couldn't have just opted for acting lessons? Or is that too much of a challenge?

Impressively, and conversely frightening, is the fact that Kutcher triumphed over CNN in their much ballyhooed race to be the first to reach a million followers. Yes, Ashton Kutcher, the guy who played(?) a retard in "That 70's Show" managed to sign up more folks than a nationally viewed Time Warner Inc.-owned network. Which means that teenage girls are more responsive and mobilized than the rest of the cable news-watching demographic and/or the who and what that people find is more important to follow is a guy who gained prominence by filming pranks rather than the service that gained prestige embedding reporters in the middle of the Gulf War.

Via webcast in the early morning, "Kutcher took the tone of a revolutionary." (wow, easy does it Yahoo! News) "We have shown the world that the new wave is here," he said shortly after passing the million mark, about a half hour before the network. "It is present and it is ready to explode. You guys are all of it because I can't follow me." No shit, genius...but I bet you tried. Kutcher had long trailed CNN, but staged a rally in recent days. Making the asscertion that Twitter is democratizing media and removing filters between celebrities and fans or big media companies and their customers is cute, almost...lofty. "We can and will create our media," Kutcher said, celebrating his victory with champagne and by twatting: "Victory is ours!" And if there's something we could all really use now is a media shaped by Ashton Kutcher and 1 million of his sycophants.

If anything materialistically good came from the competition is that Kutcher and CNN pledged to mark the occasion by purchasing mosquito bed nets to combat malaria, as $100,000 was donated to the Malaria No More Fund, the charity said Friday. But as expected, the bad outweighs the good with this, and a new challenger has come to table - uberdouche and reason number one why abortion must remain legal, "The Hills" Spencer Pratt.

"Ashton had a huge head start, but I believe in my Twitter family," said the media-whore and generally unimportant "person" (because "actor", "celebrity", "personality", and "public figure" are just too strong), who currently has 194,048 followers. "From the moment Ashton accepts my challenge, assuming he's man enough to do so, whoever adds the most new followers in 30 days wins." Wow, you really capped on his machismo! And your timing couldn't have been better. Next up, challenging the winner of the next Boston Marathon to a 400-meter sprint immediately after the race. And the stakes for their May 17 deadline? "If I win, Ashton and Demi have to wash my car," he says. If he loses to Kutcher, Pratt adds that he and his beloved typical blonde bimbo Heidi Montag will clean their house. I think they ought to offer to clean some of these here 9mm bullets. Here, open your mouth and give it a spitshine, you fucktard.

Migratory Weekend

The move is on! 48 hours of madness and then I should be settled (somewhat) into the homestead...

It's Official

America has another white male landowner. Rejoice!

I'm So Fucking Hard Right Now

Little did I know half a year ago that real estate and the home market was littered with sexual terminology.

It was barely more than a month ago my realtor called me on a Saturday night, after we'd seen several places that morning, and he'd found the ideal place for me. I went that night and saw one hell of a place. After deft negotiations and holding firm to my price through the storm of additional bids, we got the offer accepted. Escrow closes next week, and now that I've removed all the contingencies as a buyer, the deal has, as they say, "gone hard". Loan papers will be signed by week's end, wire transfers will take shape, and Yours Famously will be one of the few who took advantage of the burst housing bubble and crazy low interest rates, and become a first time homeowner.

Two beds, two baths, two fireplaces, even two separate a/c and heating units for the joint...1500 square in a Westside condo not five minutes from my current digs in a cozy little eight unit building. It runs the whole south face on the third floor, and feels wide open. It's been a stressful time, and there's still moving to do, but damn it, I'm still excited as hell.

The Jury Also Does Time

We have resumed the trial, but it is not moving along very well. Barely at all.

Why?

Because the three defense attorneys are totally wasting time and not addressing any kind of defense that is relevant. I'm befuddled at the lack of coherent questioning and direction they have exhibited. If all they are attempting is to railroad the trial so that it takes the maximum possible time to complete, and therefore keep their clients out of jail, they win. We're still on the first witness, and there's at least a trio more for the prosecution and maybe the same number for the defense. If I hated criminal attorneys before, now I wish for their utter destruction.

And the judge thought last week we'd be deliberating by today.

He's been frustrated by the drag as well, but I don't know what's going to happen is it goes past Wednesday, where I understand he has other cases on his calendar. And I'm going nuts worrying about work and not being there full time during the end of month. Because somehow, no matter how busy we are with other projects, if some of the pending work for my clients isn't done on time for the end of the week, I'm sure blame will fall back on me - even though I'm not there. Not good. Not good at all.

Why I Left Work Early Yesterday

Nothing is better than trying to do your job and having 10 inches of giant warehouse alley beast saunter in a few feet from me. Was I on top of my desk? Fuck yes! It played under there for a little while, and I was told it came back in the morning and was hanging out before I came in. I've seen them in the warehouse before zipping by, but this brazen critter could give two shits about fear. It was cruzing like a Sunday stroll. I hate the dirty bastards!

Rats are various medium sized, long-tailed rodents of the superfamily Muroidea. "True rats" are members of the genus Rattus, the most important of which to humans are the black rat, Rattus rattus, and the brown rat, Rattus norvegicus. Many members of other rodent genera and families are also called rats and share many characteristics with true rats. Rats are distinguished from mice by their size; rats generally have bodies longer than 12 cm (5 in).

Species and description
The best-known rat species are the Black Rat (Rattus rattus) and the Brown Rat (Rattus norvegicus). The group is generally known as the Old World rats or true rats, and originated in Asia. Rats are bigger than most Old World mice, which are their relatives, but seldom weigh over 500 grams (1 lb) in the wild.

The term "rat" is also used in the names of other small mammals which are not true rats. Examples include the North American pack rats, a number of species loosely called kangaroo rats, and others. Rats such as the Bandicoot rat (Bandicota bengalensis) are murine rodents related to true rats, but are not members of the genus Rattus. The widely distributed and problematic commensal species of rats are a minority in this diverse genus. Many species of rats are island endemics and some have become endangered due to habitat loss or competition with the Brown, Black or Polynesian rat.

In Western countries, many people keep domesticated rats as pets. These are of the species R. norvegicus, which originated in the grasslands of China and spread to Europe and eventually, in 1775, to the New World. Pet rats are Brown Rats descended from those bred for research, and are often called "fancy rats", but are the same species as the common city "sewer" rat. Domesticated rats tend to be both more docile than their wild ancestors and more disease prone, presumably due to inbreeding.

The common species are opportunistic survivors and often live with and near humans. The Black Plague is traditionally believed to have been caused by the micro-organism Yersinia pestis, carried by the Tropical Rat Flea (Xenopsylla cheopis) which preyed on R. rattus living in European cities of the day; these rats were victims of the plague themselves.

While modern wild rats can carry Leptospirosis and some other "zoonotic" conditions (those which can be transferred across species, to humans, for example), these conditions are in fact rarely found (not true in neotropical countries). Wild rats living in good environments are typically healthy and robust animals. Wild rats living in cities may suffer from poor diets and internal parasites and mites, but do not generally spread disease to humans.The normal lifespan of rats ranges from two to five years, and is typically three years.

this is what it looked like to me

Uh...Yikes?

Scarlett said that while the stock drop was certainly not the biggest percentage wise in market history, the actual loss of income was about a trillion dollars of wealth. Suckers. At least the govenment is planning to bail out these failing...uh, guess not. Looking around the interweb, looks like it's not going over so well...

Asian stocks plunge after rejection of bailout - because if there's nobody to buy all those Sony and Nintendo products here, Japan is fucked.

House vote against bailout wounds McCain - I don't think he'll get a Purple Heart for this, and God forbid the House puts him in a prison camp again.

Dow plummets record 777 as financial rescue fails - it could have been 666, right?

Jobless claims pushed to 7-year high - who sawhat one coming either

Ex-teacher in Neb. gets 6 years in sex case - this has nothing to do with the economic failure, but just more bad news in general if you're a 26 year old woman who can only get your sex on with a 13 year old.

WaScrewed

Let me just say, I think offering free checking may have contributed to their downfall. So far, my other two banks have not failed. So far...

New Paths To Incompetent

Am I worried that the potential future second-in-command, one hiccup away from being in charge, is too stupid to keep her email from being hacked. Shit yes!

The break-in to Sarah Palin's private account is especially significant and frightening because Palin sometimes uses non-government e-mail to conduct state business. Brilliant! Previously disclosed e-mails indicate her administration embraced Yahoo accounts as an alternative to government e-mail, which could possibly be released to the public under Alaska's Open Records Act. Hmmm...operate in the proper (read: far more secure) channels where they could be culpable, or do whatever shenanigans they please in the alleged safety of private emails? Such are the tough chooices being a Republican!

A person claiming to be the hacker who obtained access to Palin's private Yahoo e-mail on Tuesday has posted a supposed first-person account of the hack, revealing the relatively simple steps he says he took to crack the account. The story was briefly posted to the 4chan forum where the hack first surfaced. Bloggers have connected the handle of the poster, "Rubico," to an e-mail address, and tentatively identified the owner as a college student in Tennessee. Allegedly, a person who identified himself as the student's father, said he could not talk about the matter and would have no comment. If this is accurate, the father is a Democratic state representative in Tennessee, which make the whole this way more messy. However, authorities have not identified any suspects in the case, and the link to the student so far is tenuous at best.

As detailed in the postings, the Palin hack didn't require any real skill. Instead, the hacker simply reset Palin's password using her birthdate, ZIP code and information about where she met her spouse -- the security question on her Yahoo account, which was answered (Wasilla High) by a simple Google search. Once the hacker had read the e-mails in Palin's account, he said he suddenly realized what he'd done and how vulnerable he was to being caught, since he'd used only a single proxy service to hide his IP address.

yes I was behind a proxy, only one, if this shit ever got to the FBI I was fucked, I panicked, i still wanted the stuff out there but I didn’t know how to rapidshit all that stuff, so I posted the pass on /b/, and then promptly deleted everything, and unplugged my internet and just sat there in a comatose state

Once he posted the information to 4chan -- the stronghold of the Anonymous griefer collective -- a good Samaritan tried to step in to protect Palin by resetting her password and sending an e-mail to one of her aides, Ivy Frye. But the white hat posted a screen shot of that e-mail to 4chan, and it included the new password. That triggered a feeding frenzy on the forum, as legions of channers competed to log in and reset Palin's password again. That flurry of activity triggered a security feature that froze Palin's account for 24 hours, which was long enough for the information to hit the media. Palin, or someone in her camp, closed the account early yesterday morning, which basically elimiates potential evidence in the Troopergate investigation as well as other work related issues that may have been in question.

rubico 09/17/08(Wed)12:57:22 No.85782652
Hello, /b/ as many of you might already know, last night sarah palin’s yahoo was “hacked” and caps were posted on /b/, i am the lurker who did it, and i would like to tell the story. In the past couple days news had come to light about palin using a yahoo mail account, it was in news stories and such, a thread was started full of newfags trying to do something that would not get this off the ground, for the next 2 hours the acct was locked from password recovery presumably from all this bullshit spamming.

after the password recovery was reenabled, it took seriously 45 mins on wikipedia and google to find the info, Birthday? 15 seconds on wikipedia, zip code? well she had always been from wasilla, and it only has 2 zip codes (thanks online postal service!)

the second was somewhat harder, the question was “where did you meet your spouse?” did some research, and apparently she had eloped with mister palin after college, if youll look on some of the screenshits that I took and other fellow anon have so graciously put on photobucket you will see the google search for “palin eloped” or some such in one of the tabs.

I found out later though more research that they met at high school, so I did variations of that, high, high school, eventually hit on “Wasilla high” I promptly changed the password to popcorn and took a cold shower…

>> rubico 09/17/08(Wed)12:58:04 No.85782727
this is all verifiable if some anal /b/tard wants to think Im a troll, and there isn’t any hard proof to the contrary, but anyone who had followed the thread from the beginning to the 404 will know I probably am not, the picture I posted this topic with is the same one as the original thread.

I read though the emails… ALL OF THEM… before I posted, and what I concluded was anticlimactic, there was nothing there, nothing incriminating, nothing that would derail her campaign as I had hoped, all I saw was personal stuff, some clerical stuff from when she was governor…. And pictures of her family

I then started a topic on /b/, peeps asked for pics or gtfo and I obliged, then it started to get big

Earlier it was just some prank to me, I really wanted to get something incriminating which I was sure there would be, just like all of you anon out there that you think there was some missed opportunity of glory, well there WAS NOTHING, I read everything, every little blackberry confirmation… all the pictures, and there was nothing, and it finally set in, THIS internet was serious business, yes I was behind a proxy, only one, if this shit ever got to the FBI I was fucked, I panicked, i still wanted the stuff out there but I didn’t know how to rapidshit all that stuff, so I posted the pass on /b/, and then promptly deleted everything, and unplugged my internet and just sat there in a comatose state

Then the white knight fucker came along, and did it in for everyone, I trusted /b/ with that email password, I had gotten done what I could do well, then passed the torch , all to be let down by the douchebaggery, good job /b/, this is why we cant have nice things.

Gabriel Ramuglia who operates Ctunnel, the internet anonymizing service the hacker used to post the information from Palin's account to the 4chan forum, said the FBI had contacted him yesterday to obtain his traffic logs in order to zero in on the hacker.

quien es 4chan? yes, it's like that