Manscaping Will Be A Lot Faster Now

Wesley Warren Jr. had balls!  Or at least he used to have a giant one.

The 49-year-old had a 13 hour procedure to remove the 100 pound testicle that had grown so swollen that he wore a hoodie as a makeshift pair of pants. "I know the majority of people are probably expecting me to express extreme happiness and glee that my life has been transformed since the sac has been removed - but it’s not as simple as that," said Wesley. "I do feel a great sense of comfort that the weight is no longer between my legs. It got to the point that it was a danger to my health. But when I look down at what’s here now it’s not the same as what it was. It’s totally different."

Yeah, no shit...you're missing that repugnant monster scrote!

But no, he disagrees, "My natural look prior to the growth is not what came out of surgery. What came out of surgery is a nub an inch long and it doesn't get any larger. I’m grateful to have been pulled out of the fire, I was getting burned, but now I’m dealing with the first degree burns. I’m still disfigured."

Hmmm, nice metaphor, but i don't understand how a perfectly normal penis becomes a Hedwig sized bit just because the thing below it comes out. Then again, I don't know how you let that thing get to be 20 pounds, let alone 50 or 100. But good on you Wesley...now go buy some real pants.