Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Looking For A Silver Sugar Momma

In turns out the winner of last month's $590 million Powerball jackpot was an 84-year-old woman from Florida...what a fucking waste.

Florida Lottery officials made the announcement after Gloria C. Mackenzie came forward - with assistance, to claim the prize. Mackenzie took the single lump-sum payment, which is pretty sensible, and comes out to around $370 million before taxes. Officials say she is the largest sole lottery winner in U.S. history, though not necessarily the oldest. She did not speak to reporters outside lottery headquarters, possibly due to a feeding tube or breathing apparatus, though neither can be confirmed.

She bought the winning ticket at Publix supermarket in Zephyrhills, a town of about 13,300 people located 30 miles northeast of Tampa, which should be spelled Zephyr Hills, so it doesn't look like some kind of venereal disease or a cholesterol medication.

My Mom-Mom is in her 90's and living in an assisted care facility, but thinks she is 16 and at the  shore during the summer instead of buying lotto tickets, and doesn't have a third of a billion to leave her offspring - in case you were wondering.

No comments: