In the most spectacularly cliché fashion, Jani Lane (47), former lead singer of Warrant and poor-man's Bret Michaels, was found dead in a Los Angeles-area motel last night. Somewhere, there's a treatment for a VH-1 program that's headed for the trash bin.
Lane, born most unfortunately John Kennedy Oswald, had a history of alcohol-related arrests, the most recent in June 2009 for reportedly crashing into a parked car, which landed him three years of probation.
He joined shitty hair metal rockers Warrant in 1986, and left three times - finally leaving for good in 2008. Until now, only 36 people knew that the band released a new album in May. His most recent credit were "Celebrity Fit Club 2" and touring with Great White in 2010, filling in for singer Jack Russell.
His legacy will be sappy power ballads like "Heaven" (featuring fringe-sleeved jackets), homo-erotic synchronized dance moves from "Down Boys" , and the three-minute fuck double-entendre "Cherry Pie". He may be dead, but he totally banged that chick...those few years of fame before Nirvana crushed that weak music may not have made up for the two decades since of failure, but they were good enough for you not to feel bad he's dead. But seriously, what a drag to live all that time knowing your mediocre best was behind you.
UPDATE: A half-empty bottle of vodka and prescription medication were found in his room - shocker. A public memorial with performances by other forgotten bands including Great White and L.A. Guns will be held in Hollywood on August 24 - mark your calendar!
Lane, born most unfortunately John Kennedy Oswald, had a history of alcohol-related arrests, the most recent in June 2009 for reportedly crashing into a parked car, which landed him three years of probation.
He joined shitty hair metal rockers Warrant in 1986, and left three times - finally leaving for good in 2008. Until now, only 36 people knew that the band released a new album in May. His most recent credit were "Celebrity Fit Club 2" and touring with Great White in 2010, filling in for singer Jack Russell.
His legacy will be sappy power ballads like "Heaven" (featuring fringe-sleeved jackets), homo-erotic synchronized dance moves from "Down Boys" , and the three-minute fuck double-entendre "Cherry Pie". He may be dead, but he totally banged that chick...those few years of fame before Nirvana crushed that weak music may not have made up for the two decades since of failure, but they were good enough for you not to feel bad he's dead. But seriously, what a drag to live all that time knowing your mediocre best was behind you.
UPDATE: A half-empty bottle of vodka and prescription medication were found in his room - shocker. A public memorial with performances by other forgotten bands including Great White and L.A. Guns will be held in Hollywood on August 24 - mark your calendar!
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