Friday, January 7, 2011

Scarcart Weekend

I'm looking forward to celebrating this weekend, because MAGNA is not only planning to wrap up recording their upcoming album, but Scartoe is having a birthday.  The challenge: indoor cart racing!  I went to a track years ago for part of Mush's bachelor party, and it was a lot of fun, but harder than you would think - those electric bastards zip around!

Best picture of the week:



Congrats to JWoww - her New Year's Eve outfit won her Whore Of The Year at the last minute

 Best bonus links:

• Watch A Hockey Puck Split In Half On Shot Off The Post - The only time you ever want to see some rubber break.

• San Gabriel Valley Sex Offender Allegedly Killed By Cellmate - I am allegedly thrilled by this homegrown justice.

• Cop Tasering A Camel - Sadly, no video to go along with it...but you know you'll read the story.

• 25 Arrested, 17 Hospitalized During Rave - In other news, 42 people had an awesome time at a rave.

• Mila Kunis Splits From Macaulay Culkin After Eight Years - Oh, you dirty black swan, you!

• Curses! Romania's Witches Forced To Pay Income Tax - Try giving the government eye of newt instead of a check, will ya?

• Year Of The Meme - Some of the best of the last year.  We're waiting for our 2011 shipment to arrive now...

• A Corpse's Flesh Has Transformed Into Soap - But not the potpouri smelling kind.

• Body Of US Military Expert Found In Delaware Landfill - If only he'd turned into soap.  It goes to show that military men can't adjust to civilian life...expert?  Hrumph!

• Bill Murray's Karaoke Night With Total Strangers - He did not sing "Bar Wars", contrary to reports.

• Florida Man Says He'll Live In Lions' Den For 30 Days - I say he'll live there for just one night.  and be dinner for the next three.

• Dead Suspect In Ohio Trailer Park Shootout Is ID'd - Was his name Hillbilly McWhitetrash?

• Passengers Overpower Hijacker On Norway-Turkey Flight - Normally it's just their odor that overpowers you.

• James Franco Refers To Himself In The Third Person Now - WWJFD, right? Literally.

• Escorts Begin On Interstate 5; Snow Level Could Drop To 1,000 Feet - I don't know what snow has to do with it, but roadside hookers? Yay!


Worst picture of the week:


Stephanie Seymour giving her son the king of all Oedipal complexes


Worst bonus links:

• Coffee Spill Causes Diversion For US Flight - They redirected towards scalding crotch on route to difficulty sitting.

• Injured Spider-Man Actor Cannot Wait To Fly Again - Perhaps he should get to walking first.

• Khloe Kardashian Becomes A Redhead! - Wanna see how it looks?  Here you go!

• Two Girls Race To Top Of US-Mexico Fence In 15 Seconds - Good news if they're heading over to the southern side...


• Camille Grammer: 'The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills' Makes Me 'Cringe' - You and everybody else...and we're not even on the show.

• Buried Screenwriter Breaks Academy Awards Promoting His Film - As if that crappy film had any shot of an Oscar if he didn't.


• Virginia DMV Revokes World's Greatest License Plate - If you're not going to eat the children, then why have them? 

• New York City Ballet Master Arrested On DWI - More like "drunk swan", right?

• Rutgers Eric LeGrand Has Sensation Throughout Body - Big deal, so do I.  Oh, he was paralized? Oops...

• Gabrielle Carteris Is 50 Years Old - I told you those "kids" from 90210 looked too old to be in high school!

• Carlos Santana Weds In Hawaii - Much like his recent music, it was bland and uninteresting.

• This Underwear Comes With A Penis In It - Believe it or not, that's not the worst link of the bunch.

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