Oh how I wish this was about Hellboy 2...The simple, generic looking green army men from many a boy's childhood have been drafted in a different medium. Once molded plastic, the soldiers have been unnecessarily cast in 24-karat gold. The the limited-edition set of five goes for $500. Can you imagine how epic a battle you'd have if you bought $500 with of the plastic versions?
The toy soldiers will be sold exclusively at Partners & Spade in New York, to rich assholes who can pride themselves in a new and creative way to waste money when throwing it away or burning it won't suffice. Press release? Yeah, they have one:
“Each soldier is handmade, individually capturing a slightly different look and feel, so no two will be exactly the same. In addition, they are all engaged in various activities — some are marching, some are standing guard, and others are taking pictures. Accompanying the soldiers are four environmental props, also 24-karat gold, ranging from a chiseled brick wall and barrel that provide a safe place for cover, to a pile of debris that remains from battle. Through adding these pieces to the set, [Chandelier Creative founder Richard] Christiansen provides the means for one to fully envision the settings soldiers encounter on a daily basis.”Oh, fuck you. One hundred boxed sets will be sold to suckers, and individual soldiers are unreasonably priced at $125.
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