Define "Insane"

The wheels of justice turn slowly, and often, senselessly.

Nearly eight months after the attack which killed 12 and wounded 58 at a Colorado theater, the defense for James Holmes is still heel-dragging on what plea to enter.  They do not want to use not-guilty by reason of insanity, because it simply does not benefit their client.  You see, if you want to go that route, you have to turn over all documents and information pertaining to your client's past, including those records previously protected by doctor-patient confidentiality.  And in the case of Holmes, it's a particular notebook given to a psychiatrist prior to the attack.  So how to you get around the evidence that would clearly implicate your client and his premeditated actions?  Challenge the constitutionality of the state insanity law!

Trying to make a whole separate issue challenging the law you're looking to take shelter under is a stroke of pure genius scumbaggery.  Only a defense lawyer could complain that a law is not serving enough of their plans and try to have it changed to suit them better.  I assume they'd prefer they could just plead insanity as a defense without having to present or prove anything.  My legal scholar hat got lost many years ago when I opted out of going to law school, but my bullshit detector has been working just fine.  You can't cry self-incrimination if you're claiming insanity, because 1) you have to establish the insanity, and 2) you're not challenging the act - just whether or not they were sane when committing it.

Sorry guys, either he did it and you want to say he was crazy, or he didn't do it.  Pick one, and then promptly lose.  And as usual, a giant big fuck you to any and every media outlet, reporter and source who continues to refer to Holmes as the "alleged" shoooter or "suspect" in the case.  When you are arrested on site with weapons immediately following the attack and you deliberately booby trapped your apartment in case of your arrest, you get no luxury of speculation.  He is the defendant, period.

Overkill

The U.S. Forest Service is considering explosives to move a bunch of frozen cows that died after getting stuck inside a Colorado cabin above11,000 feet.  Sounds reasonable...if you're a 9 year old boy.

The carcasses of at least a half dozen animals were discovered by two Air Force Academy cadets when they snow-shoed up to the cabin in late March.  It is believed the animals sought shelter during a snowstorm and got stuck, and the concern is that of water contamination in the nearby hot springs if the cows start decomposing during the upcoming thaw.  But explosives?

While they do admit it has been used "as a means of disposal to remove dead horses, elk and other animals in areas where it's impossible to get them out" in the past, that's not even the craziest of the suggestions.  One of their geniuses suggested burning the cabin and dragging the dead cows out with pack animals, but the other, less reactive rangers noted the high fire danger in the area.  Due to the remote location, the use of helicopters is too expensive and rangers are worried about using trucks in a wilderness area, which could disrupt the natural habitat.

Why has nobody said anything about chainsaws and blowtorches?  Once again, my faith in our government is marred by their inability to think inside the box.   

Frijoles Muerte

On their own, they're not scary, but how about a 20-foot mound of pinto beans coming down on you.  Yep, I think you know where this story is going, and why it's getting posted.

Raymond Segura Jr. was killed when several tons of legumes came down on him at the Kelley Bean Company in Brush, Colorado.  Emergency crews (and even four inmates from the local prison) spent hours excavating the beans in an attempt to reach Segura, who was dead when they finally uncovered him.  There's no word yet on what caused the accident or the exact cause of death, but I'm going to venture a guess that it was tons of beans crushing him.

Snow Capped Mountains

Snow is not falling on the beaches as much as it used to according to the Miami Herald. Capitalizing on the research findings by the Center for the Study and Prevention of Substance Abuse at the hard-to-believe-its-a-real-college-with-the-silly-name Nova Southeastern University, Floridians don't want to keep paying high prices for low-quality blow. Um, duh! Still, Miami's partiers are also turning to prescription pills instead of nose candy.

And now, a blockquote from the Miami New Times 2005 series on the Miami cocaine trade for some historical perspective:

"The amount of money produced by Miami's coke industry in the Eighties was unlike anything ever seen in the nation's history. So much cash was pouring into town from the wholesale and retail sectors of the trade that its sheer bulk presented logistical problems for the banks enthusiastically and unquestioningly accepting it. The U.S. Treasury Department made a couple of startling calculations: A full-size suitcase stuffed with twenty-dollar bills could hold roughly a half-million dollars, yet many millions were being deposited every day. How to count it all? Also this: Analysis indicated that, in 1978 and 1979, the United States' entire currency surplus could be ascribed to Miami-area banks."

“The cocaine trade became synonymous with the city through pop culture. In 1983, Scarface immortalized the glamour and danger of the criminal business through Al Pacino's character Tony Montana, whose violent takeover of a Miami cartel turned him into a cult hero. Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989, made a hero of a white sport-coated Don Johnson as he battled drug criminals funded by the big-money cartels. Later, the 2006 documentary Cocaine Cowboys became a runaway hit as it rehashed the coke scene's over-the-top glamour and violence. Crime novels by Elmore Leonard and Carl Hiaasen, set among the Miami underworld, also helped popularize the scene."

Even at $40 per gram for an inferior product, people are turning to the increasingly (medically) legal marijuana and prescriptives for their buzz in Florida. But in Colorado, they're still skiing.

A routine traffic stop led to the discovery of 220 pounds of cocaine, which is worth about $10 million on the street. Don't ask how I know that. Mark Bailey and Lisa Calderon were arrested in Pueblo after a patrol officer was tipped about a car making an illegal lane change on Interstate 25. What is an illegal lane change, and how big does it need to be to get someone to tip off a cop? Like switching across 5 lanes...in reverse?

The highway, about 115 miles south of Denver, has long been a drug-smuggling corridor, and Bailey's revoked driver's license didn't help. had been revoked. When the officer noticed that the back of the car appeared to be weighed down, a drug-sniffing dog was brought to the scene. A search of the trunk uncovered four black duffel bags stuffed with bricks of cocaine.

It seems like a bummer to think of the dull, subdued Colorado locale as home to the next wave of coke parties. Miami really had the beach / weather / half-naked sluts thing going to help that party vibe.