Friday, June 24, 2011

Columbia, Of Course

Having made a name for themselves as well known for white powder as Aspen, Columbia is now looking to be as lush and green as Northern California.

Their newest cash crop is genetically modified marijuana, grown in greenhouses outside Cali, their capital. The strains sell for 100,000 pesos per kilo - or or $54 for more than two pounds, which is 10 times more than the local price for ordinary marijuana, and way the fuck cheaper than anything getting sold in America.

Local authorities said seeds imported from Europe and the United States have allowed "a bigger production and better quality at the same time". Ugh, guys, you're not discouraging it with that kind of endorsement. One of the modified varieties goes by the name "Creepy", while another that's well known in Europe called "La Cominera", is named for the Colombian village where it grows. These plants have close to an 18% THC concentration level, which beats the piss out of the two to seven percent in regular plants.

Despite the fact that marijuana production is illegal in Colombia (shocking!), farmers have to heed the economic advantages. Coffee and banana crop prices fluctuate widely in Columbia, and it is difficult for goods to reach markets before they spoil, due to their a poor road network (also shocking!). "I don't like growing marijuana, but it ended up that way," one farmer said. "I received a loan to grow coffee, but I was drowning and I had to sell my harvest very cheap. My sister told me it would be better to plant marijuana." Let that be a lesson to you - it's not smoking or alcohol that's a gateway to marijuana, it's sisters.

The plant had been introduced in Columbia in the 1930s, and hemp was originally, legally used in the production of textiles and soccer balls. But in 1962, authorities banned the use of marijuana in those products in order to comply with international standards. Buzzkills!

Though still the world's biggest producer of cocaine (last noted in 2009), marijuana production and sales are growing. Local authorities have already seized 27 tons of marijuana by June, compared to 23 tons last year, and the profits are believed to be financing the sixth front of the FARC guerrilla forces. Having close to 8,00 fighters and spanning more than 47 years, the insurgency is said to be 90% financed by marijuana. The only thing more dependant on weed is Cypress Hill.

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